Your Friends Are Not Your Therapists

Ali and her mom, Jen, dig into one of those topics every woman hits at some point — what do you do when a friend keeps coming to you with the same problem, the same chaos, over and over again, and nothing ever changes? Is it okay to say something? Is it okay to walk away?

They get into the real mechanics of how to handle it: the art of the redirect (yes, just change the subject), why timing matters more than you think when it comes to hard conversations, and why bringing something up when someone is mid-spiral almost never works. Ali draws a surprisingly parallel between managing deeply feeling kids and managing deeply feeling adults — turns out, the Dr. Becky approach applies way beyond toddlers.

They also talk about the stuff nobody warns you about: the cost of being everyone's sounding board, why you should never vent about your partner to your friends, the damage that gossip does even when someone "promises" not to repeat it, and why a good therapist will always beat a group text for working through your shit.

What we cover:

• How to redirect a friend who's stuck in a loop — without blowing up the friendship
• Why hard conversations land better when the other person isn't already spinning
• The case for asking "do you have capacity for this right now?" before unloading
• Friend breakups: when it's okay to walk away and why it still hurts
• Why your friends and family aren't your therapists (and shouldn't be)
• The unspoken rule about not talking shit about your partner — or your friends — to other people

SHARE & REVIEW:

If this episode resonated, please share with a friend or write a review. We would love to hear from you. Screenshot your share or review and DM us for a chance to win our monthly swag giveaway!

FOLLOW:
Refined & Unhinged: @refinedandunhinged
Refine Social Club: @refinesocial.club
Ali: @alistricklin
Jen Dryden Hess: @jendrydenhess
The podcast by Refine Social Club

Join our thriving community of open-minded, open-hearted women who are embracing the mess, the magic, and everything in between. Continue these important discussions, find your people, and attend exclusive in-person events—where podcast listeners become real-life connections.

Join our list to stay in the know.